Admit it. 

You can tell us. 

We won't breathe a word to anyone. 

Honest. 

You see, we know you do it. Every week. Sometimes, every day. 

We have proof. 

We know you watch them. 

Yes, them. 

Ah ha! You're sweating now, aren't you? You didn't think anyone would find out about your dirty little habit, now did you? 

But we know. 

We know that, although you swear to your friends and co-workers you only watch Meet the Nation and the MacNeil Lehrer Report, you never watch either. Instead, you watch… them. 

Yes, them. 

We know you really don't go to the gym every Monday. Instead you haunt your local K-Mart's television section where the clerks always set the channel for Roswell. You pull a baseball cap low over your face and pretend you're seriously considering plunking down green for that Sony Trinitron (r). Yeah, right. 

We know the standing appointment you have with your podiatrist every Tuesday night is just a front. We saw you in your trenchcoat with the collar turned up sitting on the very last stool at Roscoe's High Life Bar and Grill, furtively watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel on the TV behind the bar. You drank four strawberry margaritas watching last week's episodes. We counted. 

We even know why you claim you can't get a date for Friday nights. No male or female stands a snowball's chance in hell against your obsession with John Crichton's tight leather pants. It's Farscape, baby, not a lack of suitors that keeps you home.  

But don't worry, we won't sneer at you. No way. 

Instead we'd like to point out that you're not alone. Thousands of people wholeheartedly and openly proclaim their preference for fantasy entertainment. I'll bet your boss (yes, the CEO of the $50 billion firm you slave for) grooves on Ally McBeal. Your minister probably tapes WWF Wrestling. Your mother (yes, you Mom!) roots for the bad guys when she watches Good vs. Evil. 

Face it, in today's electronic society, nearly all of us cherish some television vice. Kindergarten kiddies riot without their daily dose of Barney or Blue's Clues. Soap opera addiction runs rampant among college students. Most students try to work their class schedules around at least one soap…  

"Sami's up to no good again! Didja see what she's doing?" 

"Aw man, I missed Days for a final." 

"Hey dude, you got to get your priorities straight! Drop that physics class or you won't know what's happening in Salem!" 

So c'mon.  

Tell us.  

What's your favorite television addiction? How bad are you bit?  

Do you never miss an episode?  

Do you have pictures of the cast on your computer as a screensaver?  

Or -- the ultimate sign of addiction -- have you written fan fiction about your favorite show? Click here to let Crescent Blues know where in Videoland you spend your nights (and days)! 

Teri Dohmen